I need a HUG Jesus!

I know I know I am horrible. I need to commit myself to writing here at least once or twice a week. Life is good, though I still a slacker I still feel that I am moving towards a better "place" I really want to know why I am so full of hot air. I mean I can spew some crap sometimes, just I will, I will, I will and I don't do anything. I really want to stop this destructive behavior. I really need God's help and his hand to guide me into this transition. I am too old, for this foolishness! I am disappointed in myself, I know I should be farther along then I am. I have to look myself in the mirror and tackle some of my biggest demons. Weight and Education. I cannot believe I have allowed myself to get this huge, its utterly disgusting. I am actually concerned:( I keep saying I will do something, but I don't.

There are two things that I am praying for guidance with:
My weight I would like to lose 15 pounds by mid October
My Education I would like to finish more than halfway of my courses.
So I write this open letter to God asking for his help. SINCERELY!
I am tired of not feeling pretty and not feeling smart enough. Ok enough babbling. The first thing on the agenda is drinking more water. So lets see what happens when one stops eating junk and drinks more water:)

I will check in later PEACE