I think I have decided that doing things my way DOES NOT WORK

So let's take me out of it and now that we have a BLACK PRESIDENT (woot woot)

there are some things that I have to start and finish.

1) Work Out

2) Eat Green literally

3) Study 5 hours a day on my LSAT

4) Finish outstanding classes

5) Complete my screenplay

6) Start writing more in general

I am not sure why I continue to be my worst enemy...is it low self esteem, is it that I just don't care? Who knows...it just has to stop. My job doesn't define and since I'm not even being paid. I'm not killing myself for it any longer. My relationship is literally on its last leg and my old relationship has gone nowhere and that's probably because I'm holding on to the relationship that I'm in that's going NOWHERE. His daughter will be here very soon...so I think that will be out.

I know in my heart that I cannot handle raising a child. I still have issues with children and I don't want to set myself up for something that I know I cannot deal with. Its rough, but I'm sure that I will be able to convey it in a much more succinct way to my dear old friend. I believe that his influence on me, is not a positive and I'm not sure why I feel so much older around him. That could be the weight issue which is literally killing ME!

I bought some vegetables and I'm really trying to watch what I eat. Clearly workout is not enough. My legs were killing me while I jogged today and that's just an indication that I haven't done any REAL exercise in a long time. I hate the way I look, but I'm not willing to say OKKKKKKKKKKKK working out and eating wings do not mesh.

So Goal for Week 1: Eat more veggies and fruits/NO CARBS....if I get through this I will treat myself later

love always

Y

ps. I love that picture up above...its just Black Love to me...makes me kind of want to fall in love. GO OBAMA!