I am so frustrated! I had that long talk with you know who and it did not go well. Basically I told him in my own legalistic way, that dating exclusively was a total waste of time. My parents and their sheer hate of the fact that I am dating someone old enough to be my father is a point of contention with me. Today he brought up some insane foolishness, like "am I enough" and my favorite "do you like someone else". I lied to him and told him "No". Well the truth be told, I am interested in this young chap I met a month or so ago. He pops into my thoughts at least twice a day, and I find myself wishing he was the last voice I hear before I go to bed.
I'm not sure if this is a phase and I have prayed about. I do know that I can't date him, if I'm with someone else. I wonder sometimes if the "The Hammer" (we shall call him this, henceforth") is really worth it. My next post I will fill you on in the details and stats. I totally dig him and we get a long, but sometimes I wonder if I'm selling myself short. I'm a complex person and for the first time ever, marriage is something I want to pursue. I'm not sure if I want to pursue with someone that old. I do know its quite possible that I will be a caregiver and I'm not sure if I want to waste my golden years doing that. Another thing that makes me weary is he jealousy/possessive crap. Now this must be a generational thing but...every male I speak to he tries to regulate my interaction. I have a good friend we went to college together and he said that if he visits we can't go to the movies. I was like "SAY WHAT"!!! He said it's inappropriate for us to that, that sort of activity is reserved for couples. In my head I whispered not where I come from...lol.
So I have a lot to ponder, so if you have any good break-up suggestions or maybe thoughts on dating May-December please let me know. I feel like I'm walking through a fog. I know I don't want to end all communication with him, but he doesn't believe in dating casually. I mean what's wrong with dating casually????
Ok on to something else. My diet and workout plan, has been going swimmingly. I work out everyday for at least 50 minutes. I did Tae-bo on Monday and I resumed my love/hate relationship with Billy Blanks. WHAT A SADIST!!!... I feel motivated and I'm already picturing myself in my size 4 dresses. I'm tired of being fat and lazy it's time to get sleek and lean. The eating part for me is still a challenge, but I'm forcing myself to eat as many servings of fruits and veggies as possible. My water intake has been good, I'm always pushing myself to drink one more gallon. I'm ready to bring 2003 back, when I was my slimmest. My hips and thighs are taking over my life. I have so much beautiful clothes that I cannot wear because my lips won't start chomping. I am regaining my life, and every good week I have I reward myself with a treat. This past Friday It was cosmetics from Anthropologie. This weekend, I may try to finally watch Sex and the City...I really want to see it on the big screen ( I know I'm super late)
Ok, it's 2;30 here I'm off to bed...peace:)
I'm not sure if this is a phase and I have prayed about. I do know that I can't date him, if I'm with someone else. I wonder sometimes if the "The Hammer" (we shall call him this, henceforth") is really worth it. My next post I will fill you on in the details and stats. I totally dig him and we get a long, but sometimes I wonder if I'm selling myself short. I'm a complex person and for the first time ever, marriage is something I want to pursue. I'm not sure if I want to pursue with someone that old. I do know its quite possible that I will be a caregiver and I'm not sure if I want to waste my golden years doing that. Another thing that makes me weary is he jealousy/possessive crap. Now this must be a generational thing but...every male I speak to he tries to regulate my interaction. I have a good friend we went to college together and he said that if he visits we can't go to the movies. I was like "SAY WHAT"!!! He said it's inappropriate for us to that, that sort of activity is reserved for couples. In my head I whispered not where I come from...lol.
So I have a lot to ponder, so if you have any good break-up suggestions or maybe thoughts on dating May-December please let me know. I feel like I'm walking through a fog. I know I don't want to end all communication with him, but he doesn't believe in dating casually. I mean what's wrong with dating casually????
Ok on to something else. My diet and workout plan, has been going swimmingly. I work out everyday for at least 50 minutes. I did Tae-bo on Monday and I resumed my love/hate relationship with Billy Blanks. WHAT A SADIST!!!... I feel motivated and I'm already picturing myself in my size 4 dresses. I'm tired of being fat and lazy it's time to get sleek and lean. The eating part for me is still a challenge, but I'm forcing myself to eat as many servings of fruits and veggies as possible. My water intake has been good, I'm always pushing myself to drink one more gallon. I'm ready to bring 2003 back, when I was my slimmest. My hips and thighs are taking over my life. I have so much beautiful clothes that I cannot wear because my lips won't start chomping. I am regaining my life, and every good week I have I reward myself with a treat. This past Friday It was cosmetics from Anthropologie. This weekend, I may try to finally watch Sex and the City...I really want to see it on the big screen ( I know I'm super late)
Ok, it's 2;30 here I'm off to bed...peace:)
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